What is Unbelief?

Several months ago, I was struggling with doubts and fears about myself and about God's view of me. One day, during my lunch hour, I felt so troubled by it that I determined to ask the Lord about unbelief (specifically, my unbelief). My question to Him was: What is it about unbelief that causes the veil to remain shut and the heavens to remain closed?

After praying and spending some time looking up scriptures on the topic, I felt moved to write. Below is a slightly refined version of what I wrote, in the chance that someone else could be benefitted by it:

What is unbelief? It is setting up stakes for the Lord. It is saying and believing, "The Lord cannot do that." or "The Lord won't do that for me." It is believing that there are other men more deserving and more righteous than you, who receive the blessings of the Lord, and the best you can hope for is to follow them. It is believing that God is a respecter of persons, and isn't really interested in you.

Unbelief shuts the heavens and covers the mind with gross darkness. Do you worship a God who is a distant, uncaring executive? Or, is He rather a personal, loving, affectionate, even doting Father? Is your God too busy to care about the details of your life, or does He instead (being uninhibited by the constraints of time) yearn to spend time with you and have a relationship with you? Is your God a stern judge, immediately doling out punishments for even the smallest infractions? Or, is He a God of mercy, quick to forgive sin at the first sign of your sorrow and repentance, and covering you with his robe, and putting a ring on your finger, and slaying the fatted calf to celebrate your return? When you cry out to Him, in your sorrow and guilt, does He turn away His face from you in shame, or does He run to you, and hug you, and cry with you?

Unbelief is misapprehending the character and nature of God Himself. It is placing a filter over your understanding of God, believing that He is as other men. Everyone in this world has had to suffer from the lies, selfishness, and abuses of others. It is all too easy to create for yourself a God after that image, instead of remembering that we were created after His image.

How long have the heavens mourned because of unbelief? How long have they been stayed because we have refused to believe that God is who He says He is in the scriptures. How He longs to reveal Himself to you!

Verily, thus saith the Lord: It shall come to pass that every soul who forsaketh his sins and cometh unto me, and calleth on my name, and obeyeth my voice, and keepeth my commandments, shall see my face and know that I am; (D&C 93:1)

Unbelief is dismissing this promise, leaving it for others to accomplish, because you do not believe you can be worthy enough, or deserving enough, or qualified enough to receive the Lord for yourself.